My Schizophrenic Trip

Dear Lesh

You side tracked wanderer. Its time to leave the nest and travel abroad and experience the harsh sentimentalities that life so humbly offers us. By abroad of course I mean another province and not another country as I know you are too much of a wuss to take that leap. But a leap you are taking nonetheless. Gone are those days where we used to drink a bottle of tequila then wash it down with half a bottle of Southerns later resulting in us hugging the toilet for the rest of the night while our dear friend is shoving her finger down our throat because she once heard that if you make a drunkard puke then they’ll be as good as new. Yeah I still don’t know why she did it, maybe it was love or just out of annoyance with our drunken antics.

But that’s really not the point; I know you are as gullible as the Eskimo who buys snow from a sales person so take this advice with a cup of Milo. When you attend the sports and societies sign-up evenings do not be talked into anything just because that chap is hot or your friend is also considering some lame society that will only greet you with open arms then toss you out like the smelly banana skin that you are. The societies are evil as they take your money and really don’t offer you more than a crappy T-shirt that is bound to fade and tatter after the first three washes. Also do not join the photography society just because it looked cool and that maybe it would inspire you to purchase a camera. Since of course 1) You will never get over your cheapness and buy a camera and 2) You don’t like the dark so those dark room courses will be quite, what would you say, interesting. Also do not give in to the emails that you will receive from H.S.S (Hindu Student Association) they are the most boring people you will ever come across. Trust me on this one.

Instead of just randomly joining every society that offers alcohol, try to join only two that you think that would complete that hole in your life. So I guess it’ll be the infamous RAFSOC, which is known for its drinking antics, and ELECTROSOC, which has the most awesome parties ever......

Choose wisely and don’t mix Cane with Crackling

Heart your wise-spiritual-self