After Thoughts

THIRUSHA!

Look here! You have forgotten to take your medication again haven’t you? I can just tell when you’re A.D.H.D. is acting up again, your eyes wonder, you constantly fidget with that button that is about to fall of you shirt and not to forget your concentration span that is shorter than a goldfish’s memory. Nonetheless we shall leave this discussion for when we are with Dr Pillay.

Now listen and try to retain these pearls of wisdom I am about to bestow upon you. The main reason you are coming to Rhodes is to gain independence and break free from the shackles of your parents so you will want to go out partying and get extremely intoxicated night after night. This is all good and well during O-week but sooner or later all those tequila shots are going to take a toll on your body. Don’t get me wrong no one loves eating half a loaf of dry bread while lying face down on the room floor trying to prevent themselves from regurgitating that cheesy macaroni you ate for supper, more than I do. However you need to keep in mind that you came to university to get a degree and there is more to student life than hoping aboard the ‘cane train’.

Prioritise, prioritise, prioritise. Write lists of what you need to do in order to manage your time and then write a list of your lists so you are extra organised. Okay maybe I’m being melodramatic but managing your time is what is going to determine your success. After you have written a ‘to do’ list you should make a list of things not to do comprising of these things:

1. It might seem like a good idea to impress your friends with your ninja drinking skills but do not mix white spirits with dark spirits because you will be spending the rest of your evening demonstrating your ninja vomiting skills to them.

2. Avoid Crackling a.k.a. Autumn Harvest like you would avoid the plague.

3. Never ever leave your drink unattended or accept a drink from that beautiful boy from Kimberly seven as you can always cure a hangover no matter how bad it seems but date rape is not something you want to experience.

4. Put down those Salticrax and cream cheese! When searching Pick’n’ Pay for food to fill your shelves try to buy food that is cheap and will fill you up.

5. Go to those introductory lectures during O-week so you do not end up doing a course in Ichthyology before you realise that you hate fish.

6. . . . Well, I cannot tell you everything now, can I? This is where my list stops, the rest is left for you to discover.
May the force be with you young grasshopper

O’ great one

P.S.: If you ever meet a boy named Kyle that tries to play Casanova with you, tell him to crawl back into that hole he emerged from.